Suicide: Immediate Family and Client

As clinicians, I think we well know that one possible outcome of experiencing trauma is experiencing instability in the continuity of  personal being, let alone life in general. Becoming a survivor of suicide is becoming a survivor of traumatic loss.

I am a two-time survivor of suicide in my immediate family (a brother and a sister). As a clinician, I entered the profession knowing on a visceral level the limits of personal influence, the illusions of control, and at the same time the possible profound and positive impact we can make as mental health care professionals.

Yet every day, I can honestly say, even many years after my siblings' deaths, the bare humanity which we all share, that is, mortality as well as unpredictability, is quite present for me. I know that not only my family experience of these losses, but more importantly what I did with the experience (my own healing processes of personal psychotherapy, spiritual practice, bibliotherapy, and hiking in the wilderness) is what foundationally sustained me when a client of mine committed suicide several months ago.

Supportive friends and colleagues, and in my very lucky case, a husband as well, have all been vital sustenance, and yet . . . there is something about grief that is ultimately a lonely road. My experiences of loss, personally and professionally, are constant wellsprings offering humility and reminders of both the fragile and strong threads that are part of every person's tapestry. This is what I bring into work every day. It is often lonely, yes, and yet, it is ultimately, universally human.

Margaret Clausen, PsyD
margaret.clausen@gmail.com